This morning I caught a glimpse of her, she was staring straight at me. Deep blue eyes look at me and through me; lined with the crinkles of a lifetime of smiles, and many wide-eyed terrors. Seemingly young, though aged with the wisdom of a survivor.
She smiles softly. A truly radiant smile, yet almost a smirk; as if she knows something that no one else will ever know. Her bright and straight teeth shine against luscious rose-tinted lips. She winks. She knows I am watching her.
She knows I am wondering.
I ask her what she knows, hoping for a glimpse at the woman beneath the beauty. She responds by tucking a strand of her golden hair behind one ear. She keeps her unruly waves short, and it suits her round face well. She fearlessly meets my gaze and I feel as if she sees everything — what I think, what I do, what it is I will say next.
I wait for her answer.
She looks down, and in this brief moment of vulnerability I am privy to the many regrets. The pain that she hides behind the façade of mirth. She shifts uncomfortably, afraid I have noticed, and when she raises her eyes again they glimmer with the hint of tears. Tears she will not let fall. Not even for me. A slight frown creases her freckled nose as she becomes lost in thought.
It is but a moment, a powerful moment, and then she blinks and the brightness returns. The strong resilience others attribute to her shining forth. Her smile becomes amplified, as if the very light of the stars shine through her. And it is then I know her answer: She has found happiness.
I stare in amazement, barely able to mutter “Where?”
She curls her lip in response, seductively raising one finely shaped brow. She says nothing, she need not, for I understand. She found it where it has always been, and the catalyst was love. Love for herself. Love for her life, this life. That is her happiness.
We gaze into each others eyes for one long moment more, and in that time we share everything: the memories, the moments, the years. They are past now, but not forgotten. That is the way of life.
Learn from the lessons but do not cling.
Let go. Love. Move forward.
I tell her I must go, and she laughs at my emphasis at time not wasted. I smile in reply, an understanding passes between us. Two worlds, joined by one fine chord, and the reflective surface we meet upon. And then I turn away. I will see her soon, and we will share again.
She is with me always.
For the beauty I speak of is me.
